I’ve got the blues.

So I’m back at school.

and I’m sitting in training for my real job during the school year (not the stagehand job I so desperately want to do every day) and I sat there listening to what to do in case of emergency or what to do if something blows up, how to comfort people who come to you for advice…

and I thought: “I wonder what the stagehands are doing right now…”

I never thought I would miss something so terribly.

So, I have the blues…I have the stagehand without a show blues.

This job I have right now seems to invent ways to make me feel uncomfortable. We have to talk about things I don’t want to share, do activities with people I’d rather not be around (my ex), and its just generally awkward and I get really irritated at it. Last year my co-workers were mostly people I knew and I just…felt better. This job is all things I’m not good at or things I don’t know how to do. I want to retreat to the stage where I know how to do everything and I don’t get confused or have to do things that make me doubt myself.

I have to start applying to law schools…but at the same time I apply to law school I’m going to apply for a position on a touring show.
because its my life.

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