I feel quite a bit better after the events of a few weeks ago.
I don’t know how I can say I feel better, but I do.
These past few weeks have been eye-opening. I’ve learned too much about myself and this revelation has been both exciting and disturbing.
I quit the promotions company because I hate the person I am when I work for them. I’m obnoxious (more than usual) I say things I shouldn’t say. I think things I shouldn’t think and do things I shouldn’t do. I like the work, love the money, but hate the person I am.
The age old question of selling one’s soul presents itself.
I’ve made friends with a baby…he has Down Syndrome but he’s the most gorgeous little thing I’ve ever encountered. I love him, he doesn’t care if I have a union card, if I make a 4.0 or get a 180 on the LSAT, if I gain or lose weight at weight watchers, if I say swear words when I’m trying to quit…he just sits with me and we talk about things…or I talk to him.
I’ve made friends with a man…I wish I didn’t care about him. He’s all right…but I have a feeling its going to end badly so I’m trying not to pursue it, or to want to pursue it. He doesn’t care if I have a union card, if I make a 4.0 or get a 180 on the LSAT, if I gain or lose weight at weight watchers, or if I say swear words when I’m trying to quit.
But I just don’t know.
I like music right now…and that’s about it.