I am such a fantastic stagehand.
I am so good I do things before I’m asked. I know all the terms, I know all the signals, I can do it all.
I am so good.
I just deposited the operating budget of a third world country (not really) in to my bank account because…yes. I am that good.
Oh, they won’t let me have a union card?
maybe I’m not THAT good…but I’m still good.
I’m better than all of you.
Unless you happen to be business agents or stewards or owners of production companies or theaters…
in which case you would do yourself a favor by hiring me.
because I am so good.
…but people aren’t interested in my skill.
they’re interested in my age.
and what I look like.
and any number of things that are not my skill level.
…which is fantastic.
I’m so good at my job I astound myself sometimes.
I’m sorry. I’m sitting at my desk crying over my law school applications and the wedding I have been cheated out of this year…and I needed a pick me up.
I needed to talk about the only thing that makes me happy…other than the man who will probably leave me as soon as I manage to tell him we can’t get married this year.
…but I’m the best stagehand you’ll ever meet.