I’m a waste of space.

I would love to be able to write something.

I’d love to be able to do something…
I pretty much just sit around the house all day without trying to expend the effort to shower and avoiding going anywhere. I need my driver’s license renewed…but I don’t feel like doing it.
I need to get my hair cut…but don’t feel like doing it.
Basically the only things I do are sit, eat, and watch TV. Oh, and I play Super Mario Brothers online…and Tetris sometimes.
Sometimes I text the man to ask him how his day is going.
Sometimes I respond to his messages.
Sometimes I laugh at the fun he’s having.
My friends in town are tired of my excuses and have stopped asking me to do things with them.
I’m relieved.
My family keeps asking what they can do to make me happy.
I’ve taken to walking out of the room when they ask…I think they get the message.
I wonder if I’ll be like this for the rest of break.
That would be okay, I guess.
I wonder if I’ll be too down to enjoy Christmas.

So…I would love to be able to write something.
I’ve dug through everything I wrote in the past to try and find something to interest me.
but there’s nothing.
I’m trying to figure out a way to avoid Christmas with my dad’s family.
..but this year there will be a lot of people there so I can blend in to the background pretty easily.
I think I’ll try that.

My dad…and the business agent of the union went to a theater today to look at installing some speakers.
I worked there last week.
The lady I worked for said I was great to work with.
They laughed and said I wasn’t great to work with…and I wasn’t competent, and I was a pain.
Do you wonder why I don’t apply for jobs?
Are you honestly shocked when I say I have no self-confidence.

I’m tired of being like this.
I might try to do something…
but then again I might not.


One response to “I’m a waste of space.

  1. All you need is a good ole beating from the Pope. I really considered leaving work just now to hump the pain away…buuuut, I don’t have a car. Its hard to bring yourself out of a funk like that. Especially when you don’t want to move or try or go to the bathroom to take a dump and instead go in your shorts. but I can help. I’ll even do the drowning turkey noise.

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