We thank you for concern…but will thank you more for your support.

So its been a beautiful Monday and I’m typing a blog instead of doing my homework.

par for the course my friends, par for the course.

So I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom this afternoon after a long session of wedding planning with the man and thought to myself suddenly ‘how am I going to tell my grandparents I’m getting married?’

Here’s a newsflash for those of you who don’t know. The man and I are planning on getting married this year…People have reacted to this news with varying degrees of shock and disbelief. Some people have expressed good wishes or happiness and others have told us we should wait, and some have told us that we shouldn’t do it at all.

I am hesitant to tell people now because I’m frankly sick of hearing it.

I know people are only saying this out of concern for us…and I know that people only say it because they love us (or love one of us) but seriously…

We were told tonight that we have a 70% chance of our marriage failing because 1. we are so young and 2. we haven’t been together for very long. I thought that marriages failed because one or both parties decided to no longer be committed to the other party or they just decided it was too hard and didn’t want to work at it anymore.

I didn’t think marriages failed because they were doomed from the beginning. I didn’t think they were doomed from the beginning. I think the success of a marriage, just like any friendship or any relationship is about work. I honestly think that most marriages fail because no one in this country wants to work at anything anymore! I don’t want to work at my marriage so instead of just not getting married I want to get married and make my husband/wife miserable because I don’t want to put the time and effort in to our marriage to make it succeed. (That wasn’t me…i want nothing more than to work at every relationship I’m in whether to make it better or just to show that I’m interested in this relationship).

And why in the world do you have to date for ten years before you get married to figure out whether or not the person is the one for you??? I’ve known the man was the one for me since OUR FIRST DATE! He sat next to me at my friend’s wedding and we laughed and talked and had a spectacular time together. I was comfortable with him, and I think that is 90% of what love and commitment are made of. In order to be happy you have to be comfortable. Its true, its just no one admits this. We think we can change someone to suit our needs when instead we fail to realize that there is something IN US lacking if we feel that way. I just don’t see why we have to date for two or three years to figure out what we already know…and that is we’re right for each other.

I wish I could explain how happy I am and how I’m looking forward to the future with the man more than I can possibly say. I love him so much and I love every day with him, even the bad days (and we have some killer bad days). I am willing to take this leap and make this commitment to him without dating for a thousand years…because I don’t think we need to. I really don’t think we need to be established in our own careers and our own lives before we get married…I think we need to build a life together and I’m ready to do that. I don’t feel the need to become more and futher established as Liz R. before I become Liz F. I don’t think this commitment is right for everyone I just have begun to understand that this is right for me.

I think I speak for the man and myself and the family we will soon become when I say we thank you for your concern, but will thank you more for your support.


One response to “We thank you for concern…but will thank you more for your support.

  1. I totally and completely agree with you. 100%. I’m one of the ones that dated for 10ish years before we got hitched… but thats only because we both had a lot of growing up to do… and once we had decided we were grown up, things moved quickly.I have known, for a very long time, like…before you guys dated, that you were perfect for one another. You two get along well, as friends… and THAT is the MOST IMPORTANT PART!!!!!I think that if you date for a few months, having never been friends before, that yeah, you are going to have work ahead of you… but if you’re friends first, it makes things a helluva lot easier. I fully support your decision. I fully think that you are ready, and able, to make this marriage work. I do not believe that marriages can be doomed from the start. I do believe that work is key.And good lord, Carl and I have had some horrible times in the past year… and we have worked through them all because we love each other. And we will continue to do so. Divorce is not in our vocabulary. I think if you keep that outlook, keep God in your relationship, and stay honest to one another… you will be fine.I love you girl! If you need a wedding photographer, let me know!!

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