Monthly Archives: August 2009

I’m crazy and have the drugs to prove it.

Here’s a confession to the blog world…

LizDoesRealLife is actually LizIsCrazy…

LizIsCrazy is not my new blog name, and its not any new thing I’m trying…its a fact of my life.

They don’t want me to call it crazy, they want me to call it Clinical Depression, Anxiety Disorder, and Insomnia, but crazy is what my loved ones call it, so I’ve taken to calling it that.

Crazy, with a hint of ‘Oh God, THAT is a member of our family lying in the dark room at 2:00 PM because the light makes her want to scream/crying in Wal-Mart/sitting in the car hiding her face with a newspaper while weeping in to said newspaper (and my current job only enables this)/freaking out and yelling and then crying/asking for permission to use cutting knives becaues of long periods of self injury/telling people she hates them and then begging for them to love her/refusing to speak to members of the family/freaking out when she meets new people and instantly assuming they don’t like her…etc.

Don’t pity my family, they say it only really bothers them when I get really bad and can’t stop crying. That doesn’t happen often thankfully.

The reason that I’m writing this blog post at the moment is 1. Its Friday, the end of the month, and I have very little to do today that I didn’t knock out when I got in to work this morning (because the combination of clinical depression/anxiety makes me very productive sometimes) and 2. Many members of my family have stopped speaking to me for one reason or another.

One Reason Or Another
•I’m marrying the man.
•I work at the Nowhere News instead of McDonalds (the reason for this is the Nowhere News is in Nowhere, KY which my family thinks is the lowest of the low as far as scummy towns are. I happen to like Nowhere quite a bit thank you. They wanted me to work at McDonalds so that I can make money to move away from Nowhere. The Nowhere News pays MUUUCH better and doesn’t involve me smelling like french fries)
•I’ve gained weight.
•I am not going straight in to a master’s program, but instead am taking business courses at RCC (you don’t want to know what that stands for) so I can get in to an MBA program.
•My father is my father
•I have a smart mouth and use it to my advantage.

and reason 3. I’m tired of lying and being ashamed of being depressed. There’s nothing shameful about having depression (or so the nice nurse at the dr.’s office tells me), and there’s no reason my family should be shunning me because I’m depressed…and a quick aside here, when I say family I don’t mean Mom, Dad, and Younger Sister, I mean extended family.

an anecdote:

I have a cousin who doesn’t function in the same world as us. Every day is a new opportunity for fun as far as she’s concerned. When I moved up to Minnesota at the beginning of this summer we spent a lot of time together. We drove to visit people, we ate burritos, we took long drives and took pictures, we talked music, we discussed social politics, we went to the grocery and tried all the free samples, we painted, we looked at sexy men, we looked through antique stores for treasures, we watched The Bachelor, and we did everything people my age are supposed to do to relax.

Cousin A. is 58, has a son, used to be a social worker, and took up painting as a method of escaping her difficult mother. She’s also clinically depressed, has an anxiety disorder, and is an insomniac.

LizDoesRealLife is twentyplus, no kids (but has a big dog), sells newspaper advertising, and took up writing as a means of escape and release.

Cousin A’s sister (Cousin L) is 60something, has two beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a beautiful, well-decorated house, and the means to take expensive and beautiful vacations. She is also clinically depressed, with an anxiety disorder, and insomnia.

Her husband G. is looked at in the community as a pillar of strength, that shepherds wild Cousin L. through her deranged life and keeps her sane on her good days. People pity G. because he could have had a normal life, but instead married this crazy woman who goes in to town and buys $1200.00 antique stoves from Norway that don’t even work.

I look at G. and see the man.

Its difficult living with people who are depressed, I understand this, and it keeps me from snapping at him when he asks if I’ve taken my medicine (most of the time), and its even more difficult because with this depression and this anxiety comes jealousy, thinking people don’t like me, thinking I impose on people, and all other nasty things. We may make plans only to find out I can’t stop crying because of a dead cat I saw on the road beside the Nowhere News, or we may go out and start having a fun time and I’ll get scared of something and will withdraw.

This is my life, and this will be our life. On May 15, 2010 (yes we have set a date) when we say our vows we might as well include the following:

Me: “I promise to give you fair warning when I’m feeling depressed, and promise not to scream at you when you ask if I’ve taken my medicine. I promise to try my best not to take my bad days out on you, and I promise not to buy $1200.00 antique stoves from Norway that don’t work”

Him: “I promise to snuggle with you at night when you’re feeling sad, no matter how ungodly hot it is. I promise not to nag you about your medicine, and I promise to remind you how much I love you when you have bad days, and to take it for the most part when you do take your bad days out on me. I promise to be there for you when you need me, and only take off on my motorcycle and get the H away from you when you really start to annoy me.”

I am LizDoesRealLife and I am clinically depressed with an anxiety disorder and insomnia (wtf insomnia??? I thought everyone didn’t sleep when they were in college). I am functioning in the real world (sometimes not well) and I am medicated (for how much longer we’ll see). I am, as the kids say these days, letting my freak flag fly.

and I’m not ashamed anymore.

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Liz Does…WHAT!?!?!

My life at the moment has no shortage of crazy happenings, but there’s one that is the crazy to end all crazy…one that is just so bonkers that its possible that I shouldn’t even be doing it…but I am.

This is much crazier than say…

going to a used book sale and returning home with two reusable shopping bags full of books (and then going back for a second day and coming home with two more)
wheeling and dealing with a salesperson for a BEAUTIFUL red adirondack chair that is in front of my house right now.
wheeling and dealing with a salesperson (no, we really do have no respect for each other) for a BEAUTIFUL vanity set. Its vintage, its beautiful, I’m in love.
sitting down with my mother and over the course of a weekend planning my ENTIRE wedding, reception, rehearsal…everything! Its officially LizDoesWeddingPlanning time!!!!!! I’m pretty darn excited people!
taking my dog to work, calling him my son, and confusing the heck out of my boss (that was a good one)

nope, this is much crazier…

I have switched to a 70% RAW 30% cooked diet. This involves…
•drinking 64 oz of water a day
•cutting out tea (my one true love besides the man)
•cutting out bread, white potatoes (except occasionally), and crackers.
•drinking lemon water in the morning (I HATE lemon with a passion)
•incorporating exercise in to my schedule
•I haven’t mentioned…eating RAW FOOD! RAW veggies, RAW fruits, RAW nuts, RAW seeds. Oy Vey, as my people would say.

I can have fish occasionally, but not with every meal. The goal of this detox plan/diet so far as I understand is to move toward completely natural ingredients in order to clean up your system…between alcohol, Smokey Valley Burgers with Onion Rings, peanut butter milkshakes, and just generally eating waaaay too much crap I really need that to kickstart my weight loss to get my BFA in to A WEDDING DRESS IN EIGHT MONTHS!

Would you like to see my menu for Monday-Wednesday? (The reason I don’t have the rest of the week planned yet is it involves a trip to the farmers market) I know you would:

Monday
Breakfast:
Cup of hot lemon ginseng green tea with 1/2 tsp. honey
•Sliced up apple, banana, and handful of blueberries with 1 tsp. honey
Snack
•Handful of raw almonds
Lunch
•2 tbsp Hummus
•Mixture of carrots, bell peppers, and cucumbers (or des crudities as the French would say)
Snack
•1 sm. apple
Dinner
•Salad with 1/4 raw avocado, tuna, mushrooms, peppers, onion (and whatever the heck I can find in the refrigerator to make a raw food salad)

Tuesday
Breakfast:
Cup of hot lemon ginseng green tea with 1/2 tsp. honey
•Sliced up apple, banana, and handful of blueberries with 1 tsp. honey
Snack
•1 banana
Lunch
•1/4 raw avocado
•4 oz salmon, cold (in a packet)
•handful of raw almonds
Dinner
•Possible date night (If not another delicious hearty raw salad!)

Wednesday
Breakfast
Orange/grapefruit slices
Snack
•1 small apple
Lunch
•Hummus
•Assorted vegetable slices
Dinner
•Grilled tilapia sliced over hearty salad.

Doesn’t that sound exciting? I’ll get more variety once I really figure out what I’m doing and start adding more food and figuring out more food that I can eat. I’m pretty excited about this diet (and any diet that lets me eat copious amounts of hummus).

Wish me luck, I’m off to be on a diet and sell advertising. This might not work out very well, especially if I have to go to a restaurant I find delicious…


Reflections on the fast paced world of newspaper advertising.

I am by no means an advertising expert, but I work with a lot of them. I humbly offer some things I have picked up in my short time here at the Nowhere News

•You can’t sell something for tomorrow’s paper today. Our paper only comes out once a week…but get it done Friday for crying out loud. I say this as I am trying to sell something today for Wednesday’s paper. Shame on me.

•My boss always says “don’t insult the product by giving deals” I tend to agree with him. However, sometimes its nice to say “Hey, you can get this for this price, OR I can try to wheedle my supervisor in to a discount.”

•My boss also always says to let the customer say no, not to say no for them. I always say my boss is a little off his rocker. You can’t usually sell a full page ad to a tiny business, but kudos to you if you can.

•Its fun to work in a small office, especially when the girls from the main office whine that they’d rather be working in the small office. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a salesperson and proofing stories, taking classifieds, or designing ads. If you do favors for your co-workers they will be more inclined to help you out say if you’re out of the office and a billion dollar contract comes in (don’t I wish).

•People will be jackasses (like Donkeys, I’m not swearing), people will be rude, people will make you cry…but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong. I learned this the hard way last Thursday.

•Just because someone is from Corporate doesn’t mean they know what they’re talking about 😉

•Big Daily Newspapers are not your enemies if you work at a small paper, they are not really your friends either, and they are really not your competition. Dailies and Weeklies provide a different kind of service, but the trick is showing your clients that the service you provide is as beneficial as the service they provide.

•Print IS NOT DEAD.

•Working in the community where you live is one of the best things in the world. I feel like such a better part of my community now that I work here.

•One of the greatest things a young worker can do is allow him or herself to be mentored by those who know what they’re talking about. The greatest strength to a business is an experienced worker. Old salespeople know what they’re doing, they were brought up in an era of personal communication and they know how to to talk to people and to get things done. So learn from them!

Those are my humble nuggets of wisdom, enjoy and have a great day. I’m off to sell my butt off and make deadline.

Until next time,
Liz

It comes in waves.

I’d be lying to you if I said that I kept a blog just so I could write my every waking thoughts.

Not true, thats why I have twitter. (LizDoesRealLife follow me, the things that come out of my mouth are of constant entertainment to many people…or just the man).

I have a blog so I can read everyone else’s blog and see what they have to say about life, the universe, and everything. I don’t flatter myself by thinking people actually care about what I write. I know that I have a few readers who read every time I update (and if I were to flatter myself I’d say I have a couple of lurkers who have not yet taken the big step to follow…I promise I won’t bite you). However, since the NowhereNews has taken up a HUGE portion of my day to day RealLife…okay I’m not going to lie to you. My life has been CONSUMED by print media. To the point that I go to the dollar store to buy a paper on the weekends because I don’t get them delivered to my office on the weekends, well, I do but I’m not there.

I’m completely obsessed.

The man, my mom, my dad, my sister, anyone who interacts with me (and that list is getting shorter every day let me tell you) can tell you I am in love with my job. Selling dry spells sometimes make me doubt it…but I do love my job. I love what I do, I love the business classes I am taking to be better at what I do, and I strive each day to get better and better at being LizDoesRealLife, seller of newspaper advertising.

Striving doesn’t leave much time for blogging, but as long as I have a paycheck and can afford internet access you all don’t mind. Do you?

I leave you with this picture of the man and me. We’re still going strong…stronger now that we aren’t at Bible College.

I don’t sleep at night, I’m making bad decisions, and other confessions.

So…LizDoesWeightLoss

More like “Liz Sucks at Weight Loss”

You thought I’d forgotten about it…and you’re right. I have not been doing the program like I should, I have not been taking pictures of myself to upload, and I have not…shockingly…been losing weight.

(Thats not a shock actually. I’m not following the program so I won’t lose weight).

Sigh.

My mother, who is brilliant beyond all reasoning suggested I do a detox, fruit and vegetables, or something like that…so I’m looking in to that right now. I’ll give you an update on what I decide and LizDoesWeightLoss will start soon…maybe very soon.

maybe not so soon.

Maybe once I’m less swamped at the NowhereNews

Sigh.