Monthly Archives: November 2009


“I quit my job,” I confessed fidgeting nervously on the free association couch. Why did I come in here I kept wondering silently, over and over.

The therapist didn’t say anything, he just passed a box of tissues my way.

“Its okay,” I said quickly. “I have no feelings on the matter.”

He arched an eyebrow and looked first at the red book on his desk, then to me. “Why did you quit?”

“I got ticked off.”

“That’s all?”


“Do you quit everything that makes you mad?”

I looked at him for a second. “I quit cheerleading in the third grade, and thats the last thing I quit. I’m not a quitter.”

“Why did you quit your job?”

“I told you, I got ticked off.”

He picked up the red book. “I think your problem is more serious than just quitting your job.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

Everyone needs a swift kick in the tuckus.

(I did quit my job…a few weeks ago, before any of this happened…but I went back.)


I should be moving.

I’m kicked back in my chair as far as it will go here at the Nowhere News and I have my feet up on one of my desk drawers. So far as I know I’m not supposed to be here doing this, I’m supposed to be out moving and selling but I’m comfortable here in my chair. Anyway, I sold this morning. One can only expect a certain amount of productivity from me.

I inherited this chair from favorite co-worker, I also inherited this office from her, with its two lovely windows and a lovely door with another window. I inherited her desk that looks like it survived the Civil War and the green and cream walls with the faux brush stroke finish that I’m painting as soon as I get permission from the landlord.

This chair reclines so perfectly, and my feet fit so beautifully on one of the drawers and I just feel happy here. No one is going to pop in my office and scare me, except for my boss who is really good at that, and I don’t have to do anything but sit here and blog for right now.

You see, movement hurts lately. Every step, every little bit of exertion feels like I’m spending something I don’t have and I can feel my body draining with each step I take. With each fake smile I crack or each hollow laugh that comes out of my body. Last night I didn’t really sleep which made it worse so today I feel like I’m a sack of potatoes trying to run a marathon.

or a crying clown in an iron lung, one of my all time favorite metaphors.

I’m sick, by the way. I have a lot of diseases and problems attacking my body right now. I’ve lost five pounds since Thursday (which should make me jump for joy) but really irritates me since everything I eat makes me sick. I’m on so much medication right now that I had to get one of those pill cases that old people have. I could tell you whats wrong with me…but I don’t want too many people to know what it actually is. So I’m sick, suffice to say. I’m the kind of sick that will be with me for the rest of my life and will get better and get worse at the same time. Many people who have this problem go on to live very successful and productive lives…and I can only hope I’ll be one of them.

However, I can find humor in this sickness most of the time. My mother and sister mock me mercilessly because of all of my pills and my forgetfulness where they’re concerned. I laugh too because I’m on so many medications and a couple of my conditions are downright laughable. I flip open my birth control case like a police badge and I love to pop my pills at the table in front of other people.

In short, I’m happy to have the support of people like the K, the man, and my family.

Its just some days…I feel like I have to drag myself through the endless hours of the work day, and the fact that work is driving me absolutely crazy doesn’t help.

Hmm…I hear that I have work to do right now. I’m going to straighten up my heavenly chair, put my feet on the floor and get back to work for as long as I need to stay here.

Review: McDonalds McCafe Frappe

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with McDonalds (but I am a fan). I am writing this review for the benefit of the customers of McDonalds and am in no way being compensated for this review (although a million dollars from Monopoly would be nice)

Sometimes I think that Nowhere, KY has more fast food restaurants than we do people…and I tend to frequent the Mac Daddy (no pun intended) of them all, McDonalds.

McDonalds is located right on the main drag (and the only drag there is) and its mere minutes from the Nowhere News (well, everything in Nowhere is minutes from everything else but I digress…) My morning routine as of late has included a stop at McDonalds to say hello to the drive thru workers and grab a $1 tea…and if I’m feeling generous coffee for everyone in the office.

I’m not a huge fan of McDonalds McCafe drinks, I am a tea drinker and only drink coffee to fit in with the hip Starbuck’s crowd (including my grandmother). I have sampled all the McCafe drinks and was interested to find out that McDonalds has its own version of the Starbucks classic, the frappuccino.

The McCafe frappes (spelled with a cute little accent mark over the last e) come in three sizes, small, medium, and large (the small is $2.79 at the Nowhere McDonalds and about 8 ounces), and two flavors, Mocha and Caramel.

In order to be a good consumer I decided I had to sample these and write about them on my blog (I’m also learning how to write reviews) so I persuaded my mother to drive thru McDonalds with my sister and me, my sister would sample one flavor and I would sample the other. I ordered a medium Mocha and she ordered a small caramel.

The frappes come with whipped cream and caramel or chocolate sauce on top and they are THICK and CREAMY. I ate the whipped cream first and then after a taking a couple drinks decided I should have gone with the small. The mocha had an intense coffee flavor that the caramel didn’t have, and I think in the future I’ll definitely stick with a small caramel.

So, in conclusion the frappes are tasty and worth the money. Check out your local McDonalds for some delicious creamy goodness.