I should be moving.

I’m kicked back in my chair as far as it will go here at the Nowhere News and I have my feet up on one of my desk drawers. So far as I know I’m not supposed to be here doing this, I’m supposed to be out moving and selling but I’m comfortable here in my chair. Anyway, I sold this morning. One can only expect a certain amount of productivity from me.

I inherited this chair from favorite co-worker, I also inherited this office from her, with its two lovely windows and a lovely door with another window. I inherited her desk that looks like it survived the Civil War and the green and cream walls with the faux brush stroke finish that I’m painting as soon as I get permission from the landlord.

This chair reclines so perfectly, and my feet fit so beautifully on one of the drawers and I just feel happy here. No one is going to pop in my office and scare me, except for my boss who is really good at that, and I don’t have to do anything but sit here and blog for right now.

You see, movement hurts lately. Every step, every little bit of exertion feels like I’m spending something I don’t have and I can feel my body draining with each step I take. With each fake smile I crack or each hollow laugh that comes out of my body. Last night I didn’t really sleep which made it worse so today I feel like I’m a sack of potatoes trying to run a marathon.

or a crying clown in an iron lung, one of my all time favorite metaphors.

I’m sick, by the way. I have a lot of diseases and problems attacking my body right now. I’ve lost five pounds since Thursday (which should make me jump for joy) but really irritates me since everything I eat makes me sick. I’m on so much medication right now that I had to get one of those pill cases that old people have. I could tell you whats wrong with me…but I don’t want too many people to know what it actually is. So I’m sick, suffice to say. I’m the kind of sick that will be with me for the rest of my life and will get better and get worse at the same time. Many people who have this problem go on to live very successful and productive lives…and I can only hope I’ll be one of them.

However, I can find humor in this sickness most of the time. My mother and sister mock me mercilessly because of all of my pills and my forgetfulness where they’re concerned. I laugh too because I’m on so many medications and a couple of my conditions are downright laughable. I flip open my birth control case like a police badge and I love to pop my pills at the table in front of other people.

In short, I’m happy to have the support of people like the K, the man, and my family.

Its just some days…I feel like I have to drag myself through the endless hours of the work day, and the fact that work is driving me absolutely crazy doesn’t help.

Hmm…I hear that I have work to do right now. I’m going to straighten up my heavenly chair, put my feet on the floor and get back to work for as long as I need to stay here.


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